A Little Ditty Called Happiness
She disrupted everything I thought I knew. And everything I ever believed in. Her burnt auburn hair was slung on top of her head as she walked through the door. I looked her up and down. I had seen pictures of her but this was our first meeting in person. She commanded my attention, any attention. I don’t think she meant to, but she threw me for a whirlwind. Or maybe she did because that’s the type of woman she was. Beautiful, tortured, but most importantly: dangerous.
By the end of that night, our lips pressed together with the rain falling down on us. It was well after midnight and only one car had passed us by. It was a scene straight out of a movie and she had that star quality.
* * *
After that first night, she looked at me with desire. With eyes full of lust and want. But it was a game for her. Could she win over the young one? Oh yes, she could. And she did. Then like a light switch, all that I saw in her eyes was gone. It turned into a void that goes deep and I know it was a game, yet I still wanted to fill the darkness with lust and desire and love and all the things I thought I saw once before.
I can’t change her. She’s the last wild thing existing in this world and she’s not meant to be held back. Not that I ever tried to. I let her be who she was, a wicked force not to be reckoned with. I would lay back at the mercy of her and that special way she looked at me. She would slay me with her eyes, penetrate my skin and make herself at home. There are a million ways to describe how she makes me feel but none could accurately describe it. But there was a fierceness in her eyes, a burning passion I thought I felt. And its central focus: Me. Us.
* * *
Further in the movie now, flashes of body parts entangled. Skin was lucent with sex. Her words escape through painted lips and coated my body, cradling me and keeping me in a trance. I couldn’t let go. I didn’t want to let go even though she tried so hard. She came into my life and threw everything off balance. How could I just give it all up? She was my drug of choice. Evil, beautiful, insane, and fucking perfect. She slipped out the door, traces of ecstasy and triumph still left on the bed next to me. Maybe she’d be back with eyes full of happiness and hunger to devour me again. Or maybe she’d be gone from my life, leaving me broken and upside down.